Jackie: A Tale of Perversity and Woe

The good news first -- I GOT TO SEE LEWIS BLACK DO A SHOW YESTERDAY. Bonner called me last week to inform me that he was going to be performing at her school and OBVIOUSLY I had to go, work be damned, because no way am I gonna fucking miss Lewis Black for stupid work. So I left a little early and managed to catch the 4 o'clock bus. So many things could have gone wrong that day. I could've missed the 4 o'clock bus. I could've been told I was not allowed to leave early. The bus could have been late. The bus could've been on time, but there could've been a lot of traffic, leading me to miss the second bus. And then, the next morning, on my way back, I could have missed the shuttle to take me back to the bus, which would mean I would've gotten to work at least half an hour late.

But nope! Nothing went wrong! Everything went just perfectly! And it was awesome and amazing and hilarious and my mouth hurt from too much laughing. And best of all? IT WAS FUCKING FREE. Bonner managed to get someone to give their ID so she could pay the $5 student price for me, instead of the $30 I would've had to pay for a non-student ticket. BEST. DAY. EVER.

Now, however, the bad news. At work I'm required to wear black pants, and I have a tendency to wear the same two pairs of pants over and over because I hate shopping for pants. This means, because of all the wear and tear from the physical activity, and also because I am just THE FATTEST PERSON ALIVE according to mainstream clothing brands, the pants tend to rip at the crotch a lot. I guess I just keep buying shitty quality jeans? So I went to the mall with Rob today, determined to find a durable pair of jeans I could both wear to work and also wear casually.

But it was not to be. Apparently the only kind of pants that exist now are skinny cut jeans, which I do not look good in. I seriously looked in practically every fucking clothing store in the mall and all of the black pants were skinny jeans, except for this one pair that went up to my fucking waist and made me feel like a middle-aged soccer mom. I was getting increasingly angrier and angrier as I went from store to store, searching desperately for ANY FUCKING BLACK PANTS THAT DID NOT CUT OFF CIRCULATION IN MY LEGS, only to find that nowhere had any. None. Zero. There were plenty of blue jeans that were normal, but the black ones? Psssh, forget it. As we all know, only thin people are allowed to wear black jeans.

I finally gave up after searching through Bloomingdale's, and Rob was subjected to my Hulk-out ranting in the food court and parking lot about how fucking ridiculous it was that there were no regular black jeans to be found anywhere, and how stupid that is because not everyone looks good in those kinds of pants, and how it seems like the only two options for jeans nowadays is either that or a crazy wide flare from the 1970's disco era, and anyway it doesn't matter because apparently I've gone up to a size fucking 15 and I haven't even done anything and I don't even feel like I'm just this huge thing that these clothing stores are making it seem like I am. I know I'm not thin anymore but I certainly don't feel like I'm verging on plus-size territory either. And of course it wouldn't matter if I was, because there's nothing wrong with it, but then my clothing options would be even more limited and THIS IS WHY I NEVER FUCKING SHOP FOR PANTS.

Like, I don't even know what to do about this weight gain anymore. It seems like no matter what I eat or don't eat I keep gaining weight anyway. Do I really have to start starving myself again in order to get back to a size I feel comfortable in? Did I really fuck my body up that badly when I was in high school? I mean, Jesus Christ.

I just got back from my mini-vacation weekend at Brittany's house! It was a fantastic time. It was so nice to be able to take some time off and forget about things for a couple of days.

It was a long ride in -- an hour and a half on the bus, then an hour and a half on the train -- but definitely worth it! We went to Six Flags yesterday, and it was AWESOME. There were no lines so we got to ride pretty much everything in only three hours. Brittany also showed us around the area she grew up in, like the former military base she went to school at for a while, and we went to the Kevin Smith comic book store in Red Bank. But yeah, in general just a good time. I would go into more detail, but I'm kinda tired after we spent today at Coney Island.

But back to the ol' grind tomorrow!

I ordered my ticket for New York Comic-Con a couple days ago! I'm excited. It's a 3-day pass and I'm going with sidonay and we are going to have an awesome time. Is anyone else going?

I may be going to New York in a couple minutes. It's such a nice day out, I figure I might as well.

Man, I had a great time! As I posted yesterday, I hung out with Corinne for a little while before she had to go to class, and it was nice catching up with her... then I wandered around for a few hours because Brittany didn't get out of work until 6, so I just ate linner and tried on clothes at Forever 21 and went in various bookstores. But God, the rain! It just made me so exhausted; by the time I got to her dorm in the East Village I kinda just wanted to take a nap. But then Wes, Sean, and Alex showed up and we were trying to figure out a way to get Alex and Sean in the dorm, because you can only sign in two people at a time, and Brittany had already signed in me and Wes for the overnight. Ian lives in the same building as her and Brittany was texting him for hours trying to convince him to sign in Sean and Alex, but he wouldn't do it (there's been some drama between the two of them but I'm not gonna go into that). So we just went to the Ludlow dorm over on Delancey Street, and Alex's roommate signed us in. We watched I Love You, Man in the basement. I've seen the movie already but it was still hilarious. Then me, Brittany and Wes left and headed back to her dorm and talked for a bit, then went to sleep.

...And were woken up at 9 in the morning by construction workers. Fantastic. But, it was okay; we got up later and ate these delicious pancakes at Joe's Restaurant (seriously awesome). There was going to be a free concert on Governor's Island but it got canceled, so Brittany was like "Let's throw paint at each other!". We went to go get the supplies but the plan kinda fell apart when we couldn't find any paint, so we're probably going to do that the weekend after next. We hung around in the K*Mart for three hours for some reason and met this British girl that Alex fell in love with, but he never got her name (haha). I was gonna go to the rave, but Bonner couldn't go and I didn't want to flake out on her so I left for Bonner's house at around 5. I guess it was a good thing I didn't go because apparently they nearly got murdered (and I'm still waiting to hear the story about that!).

So, yes, I had a good time. Also, I bought organic shampoo at Ricky's for no reason.

I can't possibly post them all, because there's just too many, but here are the best of the bunch.



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Man, am I beat! We shot Andrea's short film in my dorm today, and afterwards a bunch of us stayed and talked for a couple of hours. Brittany has SO MANY crazy stories. Anyway, it was an exciting day. I went out and got coffee for people at one point; I felt like I was an intern. And we had pizza and it was good. It was a nice day.

Although, I went back to NJ to get my student refund check, right? This was pretty much the only reason I went back. Well, guess what?

Yeah. I forgot it.

Typical Jackie. *facepalm*

( Also, meme. )

I don't know if I mentioned this on here, but my class had to go to a ballet tonight for our Literature class. This was something none of us were looking forward to, because 1) all of us hate our teacher so much that, no matter what he says or does -- even if it's the most awesome thing ever -- it will be treated with contempt and will be mercilessly mocked and complained about, and 2)...well, it's a fucking ballet.

But most of us sucked it up and went anyway. Me and Andrea took the subway there together, and the two of us sat with Justin, Joe, John, and Ian (lot of people in our class whose names start with J's). So we all sit through the first one and John's like, "I'm gonna ask if we can go". So he did, and apparently the teacher said it was all right, so the four of them high-tailed it out of there. Me and Andrea stuck around until after the second one, when we decided we were tired and wanted to go back. We ended up walking down to Times Square and going to the Virgin Megastore and the big Toys R' Us. Good times. We ran into a guy dressed up as Spider-Man, and earlier today I ran into someone dressed as Spider-Man with a long black coat, and I think I have a bizarre fetish for guys who dress up as Spider-Man. *~the more you know~*

Anyway, we're all fairly certain the Lit teacher is gay, and tonight basically confirmed it for me. He was talking to this dude before we all went inside, and the BODY LANGUAGE, guys! Then the dude wound up sitting next to Andrea and he was asking us about him and his class. I totally ship it.

So, hung out with Helen, Tiffany and her sister today at Crossroads. There really isn't a whole lot to do there in that place! Anyway, we saw Tropic Thunder, which was totally hilarious. I heartily recommend it. We also bought CDs and stuff for each other at Silver Platters. Helen got me a Smashing Pumpkins CD. \o/ I bought myself Lolita and got Tiffany a Guns N' Roses CD because she is supposed to be a heavy metal fan and yet she has never heard of them, which I CANNOT UNDERSTAND. AT ALL.

Then we went to Starbucks and hung out, walked around, etc. Why the hell is it so hot out, anyway? I was actually SWEATING, wtf. Summers here aren't supposed to be hot, dammit.

I'm bushed, though. I'd take a nap, but it's a little late for a nap.

Oh! Before I go, here's the CD I got Tiffany: Appetite For Destruction I uploaded it earlier for kaiwynn's music post, so I thought I'd share it with you guys as well.

Getting ready for graduation now! I'm spending the day at Helen's house; we just watched a bunch of Odd Couple episodes and Labyrinth (which was awesome, btw). And I just got my hair straightened, haha. But it took us quite a while to get here -- we went in the wrong direction on the bus, and had to circle back. It was pretty hilarious. We went to Ganna's house to get her DVD player, but we wound up just using her laptop to watch the DVDs instead. :p After graduation I'm going back to Helen's house to sleep over. Good times.

Well, catch y'all laterz. GRADUATION. WTFFFF. I DON'T WANNA GROW UP!!! DDDDD: