Jackie: A Tale of Perversity and Woe

(while in the middle of having a conversation about religion)

Dad: To be honest, I think that we're a bunch of criminal aliens that were sent to this planet as a jail. I think Earth is an alien jail. I honestly believe that.

Me: ...wut

Dad: Oh, like believing in a God who is supposed to be all-knowing and all that crap when things are like this makes any more logical sense? Why can't we be psychotic aliens from space?

Me: We should pitch this idea to the Sci Fi channel. And you kinda sound like a Scientologist, Dad.

Dad: Is that what Scientology is? Aliens?

Me: Yeah, there's this alien Xenu or something, and aliens possess people's souls or something, I dunno.

Dad: I thought Scientology was about, y'know, science.

Me: Yeah -- science fiction.

Dad: We're totally aliens! I could get behind Scientology.



(...Thank God we don't know any Scientologists)