Let me play you a song on the world's smallest violin.

I've just been walking around today in a sort of catatonic state, not quite believing my situation, not quite believing that it is very possible that I will be stuck in New Jersey for much longer than I expected, not quite believing that it is going to become even more impossible for me to achieve any sort of greatness in my lifetime.

I need New York. I love New York. I can't not live there. I can't stay in Jersey; it means I am a failure and a washout and I will live a mediocre existence and I am NOT going to be satisfied with that, not at all. The mere thought of it makes me want to burst into tears all over again. It's corny, but my heart and soul is in New York City and living there over the past year has only reinforced this for me. I just --- god damn it. Fuck the higher education system in this country, just fuck it. It's bloody impossible. If you don't have enough money in this world you can't do anything. If you don't know the right people, if you don't have enough luck, it doesn't matter how much talent you have, or how much you want it.

I saw The Soloist today, and it inspired me to start re-writing Friends Like Enemies from scratch. But already I can sense the futility in it.

Almost forgot.

LIFE IS HAPPY MEME
1. Post about something that made you happy today, even if it's just a small thing.

2. Do this every day for eight days.

3. Tag eight of your friends to do the same.

DAY 4
The Soloist was good. Staring at RDJ for a couple hours is always a good thing.